DingDingDing! Round Two.

For a few months I was feeling like I was getting this mothering-thing somewhat down. Kaylin is happy, on a good schedule, and we have a lot of love in our little family. My kitchen is usually a mess, but I consider that of secondary importance because, hey, my baby can crawl and feed herself. I must be SuperMom!
But I haven't been feeling so much like SuperMom lately. I've been feeling tired, stressed, overwhelmed, and uneasy. I don't really know why I'm laying this all out on the blog, but here it goes.
For those who aren't informed....I'm pregnant again. 14 weeks today. Kaylin is 8 months old. That means if I delivered on time, my kids will be barely over 14 months apart. But there's a good chance they will be closer than that.



Double trouble. Twice as nice. Or is it Thrice as nice? If three babies are barely more than one year apart, does that technically make them triplets? I'm sort of teasing, sort of not. I feel like I'm about to have triplets. And if I'm truly truly truly honest, it scares me to death. Scary without a hint of excitement. In general, I've been struggling with the idea of being pregnant again and even more so with the reality of having twins. To tell the truth, I've never wanted multiples. And I've actually given it thought in the past. I've actually thought to myself that I would not be able to handle more than one at a time. As much as I've always wanted a big family, I wouldn't have asked to build my family with the speed at which we are doing it. I'm currently a new, first-time mom, a few months away from being a mother of three. WHAT?!?!
I realize that I'm not the first woman on the planet to be in my shoes, so I don't want to over-dramatize the situation. My prayer however is that God will soften my heart and help me not to be subject to my fears. I am not worried that I won't love my children. I do want these babies. But I already miss my daughter. My little Kaylie. And I fear that I will fail x3. I already fail Kayles enough as it is and it will only be compounded with two more in the mix.
I've known about this pregnancy for a long time now and it's still not an easy subject for me. I'm still not used to the idea or feeling equipped. That's why I'm thrilled that I have an all-powerful God who is sovereign over my life and the lives of my children and husband.
Let me just remind anyone who reads this that this post is not a plea for sympathy or phone calls of encouragement. Frankly, at this stage, I do better with responses like "Holy Majoly, you're in for it!" or "Well..you wanted a big family!". I think this post was more for myself than anything. And don't worry. I will eventually feel better about it. And I believe I will love having the twins when they come. And I think my kids will love being a little trio, at least until/if baby #4 comes along. It's just a bit of an emotional journey for me, as cheesy as that sounds.
But I can say that we make some darn cute babies!! You're welcome, world!

In the month since my last post so much has happened. The kinds of things that challenge us, surprise and delight us, and remind us of the perfect sovereignty of God. But I'll save all that for another time.
For now, I thought I'd document some of our recent adventures. A couple weeks ago, Josh's family from Wisconsin came for a visit, and we had a great time. A trip to Disneyland, a Dodger game, plenty of pool time, and lots and lots of lovin on our Kaylie girl. Prepare for a barrage of pictures:



Meeting Great Grandma Pearl for the first time.





The boys are off to the Dodger game







Family time around the pool








I love this picture of Josh's cousin and family. I said "ok, family picture" and the old man in the background turned around and waited for me to take the picture. Hilarious.





Waiting for the Winnie the Pooh ride with Aunt Jennie





Normally she loves this ride, but this time it took her by surprise for some reason. I don't know. She cracks me up.




Waiting for Daddy to finish up on the Teacups.




From Disneyland, we three went on our first official family vacation to Newport Beach. We couldn't have asked for better weather and Kaylin did amazingly well despite the upset to her schedule. She slept better than exected and was a very happy little beach bum.







Kaylin did NOT love the feeling of the ocean. Poor thing probably didn't like the cold or the feeling of the sand pulling at her feet. As soon as we took her out of the water, she fell asleep and slept until we were back at the hotel. She's so sweet.
We had a lovely week and it was a great way to ring in the summer season.
(I apologize for the disorganization of the photos with the captions. I couldn't get them to cooperate)

Fun with GiGi

This week Grandmother Constance came to visit and Kaylin discovered all sorts of new things. This was a big week in Kaylie's little life. I should start by saying that she was sick this week with a pretty nasty cold. When I say nasty, I mean thick green snot, red puffy eyes, restless sleep nasty. You're welcome for that visual. And yes, feel free to feel sorry for her mama. Kaylin was actually a trooper. It knocked the energy out of me, though.
Anyway...back to Kaylin's Big Week. Because of her cold, we ended up spending most of our days at home. With plenty of floor play time with mama and GiGi, she started to crawl. Woah. Hello outlet covers. Good-bye computer chord. Googleing: baby safety gates.
She's been getting herself into a pike position with her toes on the floor and her butt up in the air and then she would sort of drop to her knees. Several days of that action led to her holding herself up on all fours, rocking back and forth a little. From there, she slowly figured out how to move her hands with her knees which is what you can see in the video.
We took this video on Wednesday and by today she's really crawling. Not for very long, and pretty slowly, but she's not dropping to her stomach each step.



On Friday, we three gals went to lunch and mom suggested I give her my pickle to keep her occupied. She was so adorable. She wasn't really sure if she liked the taste at first, but once she figured out how to hold it herself, she was all about it. Gobbled it right up!




The Aftermath

Hydrating

Kaylin has recently discovered that she loves water. Loves it. I wouldn't be surprised if, given the choice, she gave up milk for water, that's how much she loves it. The other day she started making this dual-grunt: a grunt of "gimme gimme Mama" followed by a grunt of "aaahhhh. so good." It was hilarious. She hasn't really done this since, so I'm glad I caught it on camera.
I'm sorry it's sideways. I was trying to be discreet because the camera often distracts her. I wasn't thinking about the fact that it wouldn't be right side up. I think you'll forgive the mistake because she is SO STINKIN CUTE!!

He is Risen!

We had a lovely Easter Sunday yesterday. Church in the morning, then lunch and hang-out time at Grandma and Grandpa Hilliger's in the afternoon. I loved dolling Kaylie up in her frilly pink dress. Such a pretty girl.
Kaylin was enamored with her plastic eggs. I'm wondering if it's tacky for me to let her play with them year-round. She likes them and if I let her play with them, it means I don't have to find a place to store them till next year! Win-win!

Dear Gigi and Grandpa,

Thank you for the Easter Card! It was delicious....I mean delightful!!

Love, Kaylin

My little Breaststroker

This afternoon I was trying Kaylin's bathing suit on her to see if it will work sooner than later since we've been having such warm weather. So..you'll have to excuse the nekedness!

Lately she's been doing this hilarious kicking thing. She thinks it's really fun and we get a kick out of it. Excuse the pun.

She's too much!