Not me!

Lately I've been thinking about the mother I want to become to Kaylin and the twinsies. Of course it includes such qualities that are consistent in any excellent woman: trustworthy, hard-working, selfless, creative, caring, and so on. But while I'm in still in mommy-training, I can definately define the kind of mother that I'm NOT.

1. I am NOT the kind of mother who lays down and takes a 15 minute nap on the floor of my child's room while she plays around me.

2. I am definately NOT the kind of mother who removes a hard piece of poop from an otherwise dry diaper and puts said diaper back on the baby.

3. I am NOT the kind of mother that puts my child in her highchair to fill up on puffs, yogurt melts, and teething biscuits in order that I have time to wash a few (or several) dirty dishes.

4. I am NOT the kind of mother that giggles behind the vacuum cleaner while my child cowers in fear.

5. I am NOT the kind of mother who stays in bed while my baby cries because I just don't like being awake before 7am.

I know I'm not a perfect mother, but I'm definately not as bad as all that. But when I do fail, Kaylie gets back at me with her "kisses".

Attack of the Killer Vacuum

The yard, Grandparents, and a Yankee Doodle Sweetheart

For over a year, we've been planning to landscape the front yard and we were finally able to take care of it over the last couple of months. It is such a breath of fresh air to have the grass down. I am so looking forward to letting Kaylin run around in the sprinklers, pulling out a blanket to have a picnic together, and all the other fun things you can do on grass that you can't do on dirt and weeds. It will be a lot to maintain, but we're very pleased with the new yard.

Before

During

After


Last month my parents came down for a week and we had a great time. Minus Joey, were able to get together with the whole family, they had lots of time with both grandkids, and they were around to see the yard transformation.
My parents with their #1 girl

We tried to get a cute cousins picture but were basically unsuccessful. This is a candid shot of Grandpa trying to get them to pay attention to the camera and smile. I think they thought he was wierd. I think it's funny.


Our best attempt at a family photo at dinner.

Having fun with GiGi

Kisses for cousin Garrett

Kaylin had a sweet 4th of July dress all picked out before she was born, but unfortunately it's way too big. It might fit her this time next year! But she was still as sweet as can be in her red, white, and blue.

DingDingDing! Round Two.

For a few months I was feeling like I was getting this mothering-thing somewhat down. Kaylin is happy, on a good schedule, and we have a lot of love in our little family. My kitchen is usually a mess, but I consider that of secondary importance because, hey, my baby can crawl and feed herself. I must be SuperMom!
But I haven't been feeling so much like SuperMom lately. I've been feeling tired, stressed, overwhelmed, and uneasy. I don't really know why I'm laying this all out on the blog, but here it goes.
For those who aren't informed....I'm pregnant again. 14 weeks today. Kaylin is 8 months old. That means if I delivered on time, my kids will be barely over 14 months apart. But there's a good chance they will be closer than that.



Double trouble. Twice as nice. Or is it Thrice as nice? If three babies are barely more than one year apart, does that technically make them triplets? I'm sort of teasing, sort of not. I feel like I'm about to have triplets. And if I'm truly truly truly honest, it scares me to death. Scary without a hint of excitement. In general, I've been struggling with the idea of being pregnant again and even more so with the reality of having twins. To tell the truth, I've never wanted multiples. And I've actually given it thought in the past. I've actually thought to myself that I would not be able to handle more than one at a time. As much as I've always wanted a big family, I wouldn't have asked to build my family with the speed at which we are doing it. I'm currently a new, first-time mom, a few months away from being a mother of three. WHAT?!?!
I realize that I'm not the first woman on the planet to be in my shoes, so I don't want to over-dramatize the situation. My prayer however is that God will soften my heart and help me not to be subject to my fears. I am not worried that I won't love my children. I do want these babies. But I already miss my daughter. My little Kaylie. And I fear that I will fail x3. I already fail Kayles enough as it is and it will only be compounded with two more in the mix.
I've known about this pregnancy for a long time now and it's still not an easy subject for me. I'm still not used to the idea or feeling equipped. That's why I'm thrilled that I have an all-powerful God who is sovereign over my life and the lives of my children and husband.
Let me just remind anyone who reads this that this post is not a plea for sympathy or phone calls of encouragement. Frankly, at this stage, I do better with responses like "Holy Majoly, you're in for it!" or "Well..you wanted a big family!". I think this post was more for myself than anything. And don't worry. I will eventually feel better about it. And I believe I will love having the twins when they come. And I think my kids will love being a little trio, at least until/if baby #4 comes along. It's just a bit of an emotional journey for me, as cheesy as that sounds.
But I can say that we make some darn cute babies!! You're welcome, world!